We're No Angels
are you ready for Henry James fanfiction?
I don’t write fanfiction. I felt so left out back in the days when my PhD classmates giggled together over their X-rated wizard boy stories and vampire slayer harem serials. They brought printed pages of tales to share with each other, and I had nothing to offer. Of course, they were years younger than I was, full-time students with fellowships, and I was a single parent of two rather rabid children, working full-time outside of academia during the day, so they didn’t expect much, often expressing disbelief that I was still functioning (technically) during my evening classes.
But I wondered about the appeal of this kind of storytelling. I wrote original characters in original stories in my own creative forays - or as original as they could be after the influence of decades of reading, watching, and listening to a wide variety of fiction. Why would I want to use someone’s else’s characters when the fun was in crafting my own?
Not long after I chose my dissertation topic in spring 2008, I was still thinking about the book that led me to my decision. James’ amanuensis, Theodora Bosanquet, stars in one of Cynthia Ozick’s Dictation stories, and while I knew of her and her valuable work for The Master, I began to see her differently. The image of James with Bosanquet and a fighting staff of a handful of his female characters came to mind, à la Charlie’s Angels.1
When the original TV show was popular, I was in elementary school, where my friends and I would argue about which angel we wanted to be (although I didn’t argue much, because I wanted to be Sabrina and everyone else wanted to be Jill or Kelly because they were “sexier” - mind you, we were eight to ten years old). We took turns posing on the playground in the trio Angel formation, blowing imaginary smoke from the muzzles of our imaginary guns. Some of my friends had fathers and older brothers who displayed posters of Farrah Fawcett in a bikini on their garage walls (my dad absolutely did not - it wasn’t, and still isn’t, his style to have posters of women anywhere).
Why in the world did the idea of James heroines in such roles come to me? It was laughable, and besides, when did I have time to write such a story? Such fanfiction? And who would read it? Even some of the members of my dissertation committee were openly dismissive of James’ relevance to anyone (ever) and my dissertation director had to coach me to keep my sarcastic bitchiness at bay in order to pass and graduate. No one would read fanfiction featuring James’ women.2
On each subsequent reread of three of my favorite James novels, I thought of the trio of women who would meet with Bosanquet in a cafe or library study room. No, make that a bubble tea shop. The youngest would pay for a packet of cotton candy from the self-serve machine in the corner and smile as The Master would share the latest criminal mystery for them to solve on speaker through Bosanquet’s phone. Perhaps they would change venues for each episode to make the opening and closing of each varied, with time for them to talk a bit about their personal lives before the call came.
Yes, this would be a contemporary serial, with a different investigation each installment. The young women would reveal more about themselves and become closer friends as the series rolled on. I don’t think I could do a historical justice, not in the manner I expect of my own reading experience regarding historical fiction, so we’ll stick with the here and now. Somewhere in a mid-to large city in Ohio (sort of where I live), close to a large state university (I live near and attended two), where Isabel Archer Osmond, Maisie Farange, and Nanda Brookenham3 are brought together under curious circumstances. Their personalities and personal situations are true to their Jamesian inspirations, transplanted into this time and place as closely as possible to their originals.
I never had any means of putting such a project out into the world, but now I have no excuse since I started to publish on this platform last year. After considering this story for seventeen years, maybe it’s time. What do you think?4
We’re No Angels
Once upon a time, there were three young ladies who had learned about life the hard way; they were smart, independent, and alone. I believed they could work together to solve crimes in a manner that would put their experience and knowledge to good use; and of course, become friends. I brought them together, and now, they work for me. My name is Harry.
starring
Isabel Archer Osmond
Nanda Brookenham
Maisie Farange
with
Theodora Bosanquet
and
Henry James
Meet Our Stars
Isabel Archer Osmond
Isabel is a twenty-something married woman who lives apart from her much older husband while maintaining a close relationship with her stepdaughter, Pansy. She has a tenderness for the weak and highly developed instincts for emotional self-defense. A dark sarcasm sometimes creeps into her usually open and generous tone. Her quick perception and intellectual eagerness make her a natural for the investigative team.
Nanda Brookenham
Nanda is a literature major at the local state university who is supported in all ways by a wealthy older man who once courted her grandmother. She is secretive as well as discreet; she doesn’t even tell her mother everything. Sometimes, she suffers from nostalgia for a time before her own; like Isabel, she is fond of old things, solitude, and expectant stillness. Her natural instincts and sharp attention lend a serious edge to the investigative team.
Maisie Farange
Maisie is 13 going on 30 after surviving a bitter custody battle between her parents. She attends an all girls boarding school, where she is known for her peacekeeping manner and precocious plain speaking. A legal firm manages a trust fund left to her by a godmother, which supports her as her neglectful, selfish parents never have. Her well-developed habit of discreetly listening in on private conversations is an asset to the investigative team.
They all love to read.
I of course refer to the original television show, which ran from 1976-1981. I was a fan of the original cast; it just wasn’t the same after season one without Fawcett (billed as Fawcett-Majors), and I was done in ‘79 after Kate Jackson (Sabrina) left. Obviously.
A quick pass through of An Archive of Our Own today revealed fanfiction of The Turn of the Screw and a couple of alternate endings for The Bostonians and The Portrait of a Lady. If any James easily lends itself to fanfiction, it is definitely The Turn of the Screw.
Protagonists of The Portrait of a Lady (1878), The Awkward Age (1899), and What Maisie Knew (1897). The are listed in order of age, for no particular reason.
I’m thinking of a monthly episode, starting in March. Let’s see what I can pull together while working on my next piece for this publication, which will feature Madame Merle from The Portrait of a Lady. Not everyone will like it, I promise.
A middle aged author declining in popularity. An up and coming literary agent with an eye for genius. A partnership that would forge a prodigious legacy in American literature. Read An Eye for Genius today.
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